perpetual high.

saturday morning week's passed by pretty fast. so here i am in the midst of everything around me. on one hand getting very little job satisfaction and on the other, trying to enjoy life here as it is. to be fair, it really isn't much of a problem adjusting to life here. it's the physical distance away from things that matter that is causing so much worries.

in any case, family's trip up to taiwan is coming in less than 2 weeks. managed to be done with my duties for that whole period they're around. hoping to follow them up to kenting, taichung. might just be the tour guide for them in kaoshiung too. hah!

so anyway, weekend's burnt. got work at the airport to handle on sunday which means i won't be going roller-blading/hockey-ing. which would also mean, i'm not able to meet jingyi. and fine. i'm looking forward to roller-blading just to meet up with her. but! that's just the bonus because i've been itching to try roller-hockey for so long, to be able to finally do it without much restrictions is one sport of my long list of things to try (i can see and sense many apprehensive looks).

i foresee a very boring weekend with me in front of the laptop/tv and just bumming away my saturday. i foresee breakfast being banana nut crunch, lunch being rice with chicken curry (homemade!) and dinner being whatever my house-mates are going to cook/buy. how entertaining.

home flight's more or less done. have already blocked off the period which i'm going back. i just need to decide which flight am i going to take. jetstar or singapore airlines? am of course very tempted for the latter but purely because of costs issues, i think the former would be a logical choice.

am looking forward to meeting up with chinx, shuren, jolene, ivan, bertrand, james, grace and leonard during that short window. i'm not even sure why i'm going back anymore. really. apart from my sister's birthday, shuren and jennifer's commissioning, there really isn't much to look forward to. sure. i've had another reason why i wanted to go back. but with all that has happened and transpired thus far, i don't know if it's even a good idea anymore. heartbreaking definitely but like i've said so many times, logical over emotional. the very fact is things have changed. it's no longer like how it was before. the silence. unbearable. for me at least. i'm almost sure it's only me that's feeling that way. i'm also pretty sure that somethings that have happened are my fault and that they are probably irreversible but what's a person to do when he's tried his best to make up for it only to face a stone wall and cold silence?

gone are the words that have meant so much yet feel so empty now. gone are the days where everything felt so right. gone. and here i am, stuck in a moment. stuck in those moments..