torn.

saturday afternoon how do you mourn a family member who wasn't close? i never liked him for some reason, i never spoke to him a lot nor did i visit him all these years. but the memories of him and the times that i did visit a long time a go still seem so fresh. i really do not know what to make of it.

it came as a shock when my dad sent me a text message at 1.45am. my grandpa was 92, had pneumonia and his body wasn't receptive to anti-biotics and the Lord called him home.

oddly enough, i found myself tearing a bit and tried to sleep it off. i woke up this morning feeling a bit empty but well, i guess it just hasn't sunk in yet. i'm not sure if those tears were meant for him or for the pain my grandma must be feeling now.

definitely not the kind of valentine's day that i had in mind. not with this, not with me burning my hands last night whilst baking cookies with anqing and zongyao. i most definitely never thought that i'd start my semester like this.