what the fuck's wrong?
wednesday morning you know how it is when sometimes what your parents deem are best for you, may actually end up to be something negative? given their good intentions and all it's sometimes hard for them to see things from your point of view.
i'm alright with going overseas for the rest of my NS life but somehow it just doesn't seem right. and here's why i am apprehensive:
1. australia uni term starts around februray/march, i ORD in june. the idea of disrupting is tempting yet the thought of serving NS again after graduation kinda stinks.
2. the place being a chinese-speaking place, well, i just can't survive as well as i would like to simply because my grasp and understanding of the language is basically poor.
3. $3000 a month with all the perks is one thing, the lost of friends/family and all the things i love is another. money can never substitute the joy and fun of being able to be with my friends and family, playing floorball and watching soccer with my buddies. no way. $3000 can't substitute any of that.
4. granted, the experience would probably be valuable but the lack of usage of whatever i studied in poly coupled with the 2 years of NS would mean i'm very out of touch with what i want (or am considering) to study in uni (of which i would talk about later..)
5. in the very unlikely event of conflict between this country and it's larger neighbour, i don't want to be caught in the middle of it all.
6. i don't see how 3 NSFs and the regular officers will eventually develop the relationship that goes beyond work; i.e., developing close personal friendships that i like especially from my days in BMT, SISPEC/OCS and presently in 3SIB
there are more reasons that i do not wish to state here simply because they're too personal to me and in most cases, it's just a biased feeling that i have and it shouldn't even be listed in the first place. but well, i guess the most important reason is simply because i'm afraid. i'm afraid of losing and leaving behind treasured friendships and the comfort of home. i'm afraid and that's all there is to it.
now as far as studies go, i'm looking at different options but i'm fixed on australia. it's a choice between Melb Uni or Uni of New South Wales. guess i'm going to drop my much-desired Aeronautical Engineering. so that pretty much narrows down my choice of courses to the following:
1. Computer Sci (Melb and UNSW)
2. Info Systems (Melb)
3. Mass Comm/Journalism (Melb and UNSW)
4. Business/Commerce (Melb and UNSW)
5. Law (Melb and UNSW)
the ambitious me is also looking at double degree programs but most of them take 5 years, and i don't know yet if i really want to do double degree. perhaps it'll be good in the long run but as it is right now, not really bothered by it. funnily enough, i'm more willing to leave singapore to study in australia merely because i've got friends there that i can call upon. arguably i've got 2 more months to sort things out before my overseas posting is official so i'm thinking this one over really hard. i hate to make major decisions like these, worse because they affect my future directly.
i'm alright with going overseas for the rest of my NS life but somehow it just doesn't seem right. and here's why i am apprehensive:
1. australia uni term starts around februray/march, i ORD in june. the idea of disrupting is tempting yet the thought of serving NS again after graduation kinda stinks.
2. the place being a chinese-speaking place, well, i just can't survive as well as i would like to simply because my grasp and understanding of the language is basically poor.
3. $3000 a month with all the perks is one thing, the lost of friends/family and all the things i love is another. money can never substitute the joy and fun of being able to be with my friends and family, playing floorball and watching soccer with my buddies. no way. $3000 can't substitute any of that.
4. granted, the experience would probably be valuable but the lack of usage of whatever i studied in poly coupled with the 2 years of NS would mean i'm very out of touch with what i want (or am considering) to study in uni (of which i would talk about later..)
5. in the very unlikely event of conflict between this country and it's larger neighbour, i don't want to be caught in the middle of it all.
6. i don't see how 3 NSFs and the regular officers will eventually develop the relationship that goes beyond work; i.e., developing close personal friendships that i like especially from my days in BMT, SISPEC/OCS and presently in 3SIB
there are more reasons that i do not wish to state here simply because they're too personal to me and in most cases, it's just a biased feeling that i have and it shouldn't even be listed in the first place. but well, i guess the most important reason is simply because i'm afraid. i'm afraid of losing and leaving behind treasured friendships and the comfort of home. i'm afraid and that's all there is to it.
now as far as studies go, i'm looking at different options but i'm fixed on australia. it's a choice between Melb Uni or Uni of New South Wales. guess i'm going to drop my much-desired Aeronautical Engineering. so that pretty much narrows down my choice of courses to the following:
1. Computer Sci (Melb and UNSW)
2. Info Systems (Melb)
3. Mass Comm/Journalism (Melb and UNSW)
4. Business/Commerce (Melb and UNSW)
5. Law (Melb and UNSW)
the ambitious me is also looking at double degree programs but most of them take 5 years, and i don't know yet if i really want to do double degree. perhaps it'll be good in the long run but as it is right now, not really bothered by it. funnily enough, i'm more willing to leave singapore to study in australia merely because i've got friends there that i can call upon. arguably i've got 2 more months to sort things out before my overseas posting is official so i'm thinking this one over really hard. i hate to make major decisions like these, worse because they affect my future directly.
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