fond (and tearful) farewell.

sunday afternoon it's been a tremendously roller-coaster of a week. the farewell dinners, my end of tour (eot) bbq and my very last night in luxy. yes. even the club. words cannot express exactly what i feel now because it's all over the shop.

on one hand i'm glad i'm going home. back to where home truly is. on the other, i'm rather upset about leaving behind all my friends here. friends who have been such a joy in my life.. so while they won't be reading this anytime soon.. i'm still going to write the following...

vivian 姐。 。這一年真的過了很快。有這個機會能夠認識你，我是無法表達我多麼幸運和快樂。不管是在台北或墨爾本,像你所說的，我們還是會有機會再見 面。那晚你給我的那封信，我發誓不會把它丟的。還有！國際電話費比不上一個好朋友的友情所以我想我們應該會保持聯絡。再次要感謝你一之那麼照顧我。也要提早祝你生日快樂！保重了大姐！

唐唐！這兩三個月可以說是我最開興的時侯。如果沒有你和vivian，我想我不會玩到那麼愉快 的。該說了已經說了。你問過我是不是喜歡了你。事實是我有。但是，向我成近跟vivian講過，喜歡了也是沒用，你我都知道是不會有結果的。所以，能夠當你的一個好朋友，對我來說已近主夠了。要好好照顧你自己。 。那是一件很簡單的答應了哦。 。 msn上見！也祝你生日快樂！

molly啊。 。你每次都跑掉。照相了也沒傳給我。 。哪有公平呢？哈哈。 。好啦。雖讓我們真的聊了很少，也要感謝你給我這個機會當朋友。有時候，做朋友不代表話要說多對嗎？幸好還有msn啊。 。哈。 。 。你要照顧你自己哦！

八 甲！你一直罵我三八，每死過啊？哈哈。 。你也差不多要當兵了。海軍陸戰隊！當兵時要承認一點啊。。哈哈。。小心點。前幾天幫我了一個大忙，再次謝謝你。我走之後有你來幫我給大鼓勵好嗎？好啦。該講的那天已經說了。有你的這個朋友，馬的。超高笑啦。哈哈。 。保重啊兄弟！

michelle。 。 。吧台表演真的是不容易。繼續努力吧！總點是不要放棄，要對自己有幸信和耐心好嗎？好感謝這幾個星期幫我那麼多。也要感謝你要把我灌醉哦。哈哈哈。 。好啦。有機會的話，我一定會回來台北找你。那可是我們的約定了哦。

josh兄弟。要把我灌醉是不容易的。 。謝了你這幾個星期跟michelle一直幫我倒酒和陪著我發瘋。哈哈。。希望有機會看到你在吧台表演。現在你的任務是要幫我照顧michelle，selina和我那些公館的朋友。如果聽到你要把他們灌醉。 。 。你完蛋了。

so yes. enough of the chinese. it's ironic how human nature is isn't it? i've bitched and moaned about my stay here for a good one year plus. lost my temper when i found out that i was staying until today instead of going back in march. when the end's here, i don't bloody want to go back. the sentimental attachment and feelings, they all play a huge factor.

my eot barbecue was an emotional one. it's always good to know you left a very good impression of yourself and really, i've never felt so well taken care off away from home. the officers and their wives, the specialists and my fellow nsfs, beyond work and all that mattered, it's heart-warming to know that we're all friends in the end. of course, the respect for them is always there not merely because of their rank but also because of the way we as a whole, carried ourselves through one obstacle and the next.

and for the only person i know who reads my blog occasionally here in taiwan, mr sim kai sheng. you are one friend that is hard to come by. not because we're "family" due to our surnames or because of our many common interests and understandings but because of your personality. like i said though, don't let others push you around that easily (you know who i'm talking about eh? hahaha). and do look after timothy for me. that joker. really a joker la. haha..

so yes. i'll be home tomorrow morning at 0030hrs. all my packing's done. most of my tearing's done as well. i sure as hell will miss this place. i sure as hell will miss the people. i sure as hell will miss the experience. it's been one tremendously fulfilling time, one where i've learnt a lot about life; the meaning of life, how to live it to the fullest, and of course the lessons i've learnt about myself. a year away from home, alone, teaches you a lot about everything.

i've made a promise to myself that i'll be back here in december. not just for the fireworks over new year but for the many friends that i'll be leaving behind. the many fun times that we all hope to rekindle after a 7 months absence.. i'll miss this place more than i thought i would.

cheenafied.

monday morning you know you've stayed in taiwan for too long when you...

1. start to converse more in chinese (or a mix of both english and chinese) with your friends in singapore
2. start to miss eating huge chicken fillets with chilli powder
3. must have bubble tea to have a complete meal
4. realise your C6 chinese is suddenly a B4
5. recognise traditional chinese words more than simplified ones
6. develop the habit of withdrawing S$50 (or equivalent) everytime you use the ATM
7. blog in chinese occasionally
8. realise your A1 english is suddenly a B4
9. pose like a typical taiwanese/japanese in pictures (albeit rarely)
10. have a range of chinese jokes and quip remarks for most situations

i need professional help. english-speaking only.

Sum 41 - With Me

I don't want this moment
To ever end
Where everything's nothing, without you
I'd wait here forever just to,
To see you smile
'Cause it's true
I am nothing without you

Through it all
I've made my mistakes
I stumble and fall
But I mean these words

[Chorus:]
I want you to know
With everything, I won't let this go
These words are my heart and soul
I'll hold onto this moment you know
As I'll bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Thoughts read unspoken
Forever in vow
And pieces of memories
Fall to the ground
I know what I didn't have so
I won't let this go
'Cause it's true
I am nothing without you

All the streets,
where I walked alone
With nowhere to go
Have come to an end

[Chorus]

In front of your eyes
It falls from the skies
When you don't know what you're looking to find
In front of your eyes
It falls from the skies
When you just never know what you will find
(What you will find [x4])

I don't want this moment
To ever end
Where everything's nothing, without you

[Chorus x2]

7.

sunday afternoon count with me now... SEVEN! seven more days to home. seven more days to mess around in taipei. seven more days before i get to eat what i want, when i want. seven more days to my own room, my own bed, my xbox 360. seven more days to all the great friends in singapore.

seven more days before i leave behind my great friends here. shit. it's an irony isn't it? been longing for this day for so long and finally when it's dawning on me, i don't want to go. it hit home very hard last night when "lil' sis" cried because of it.. no words can express how much it hurt seeing her cry.

seven bloody days and frankly i am not sure i'm looking forward to next sunday as much as i've been for the past 1 year plus. damn it.

circles.

wednesday evening i'm having a ball of a time going round and round in circles trying to explain something right now to ms toh. hahaha. i think i can laugh till my dinner comes out of my stomach. haha!

Glory Glory Man United!

monday morning if there were any other way to end a season, it shouldn't be this if you are a man united supporter like me. but damn was it exciting. watching the man utd game and tracking the chelsea one online. in the end, the goal difference that was widely talked about for the past couple of weeks was purely academic, chelsea drawing 1 a piece with bolton and man utd winning 2-0 at wigan.

my only regret? not being able to watch the game in a pub and absorb the atmosphere.

moscow here we come!

soon.

sunday evening so, i've got exactly 14 more days before i fly back to singapore. 14 short days. i'll be on a partying rampage the next few days. hah! clubber-jason no more in singapore. clubber-jason stays in taiwan. student-jason soon. not much of a choice.

that said, it's ironic that much as i dislike this country, i see myself coming back here at least once a year just for the friends and friends alone. and of course there's the side story of the almost-girlfriend which pretty much sucks because.. well. it just sucks. ha!

anyways. aussie roadtrip is confirmed. gary and peiwen have got their tickets. i've gotten mine. so off we go. crashing sydney for a couple of days before heading down to melbourne, hopefully with julian and his girl coming along for the ride. then off to meet the 2 sisters, hopefully terence and mingrui and whoever else i can remember is studying in melbourne. then back to sydney to meet up with my dad and hopefully giles as well before i head down to canberra for school. so much for taking a break before school starts eh? can't wait.

weddings.

saturday just came back from one of my drivers' son's wedding dinner. and like all wedding dinners, you have your fair share of drinking and loud-mouthed men and women. people that i have very little tolerance for too.

so anyway, it's always nice to watch those photo montages that people always have at their weddings. pictures of them when they were kids up till the day they get married. call me a sentimental fool but there are some things that are well.. plain sweet and hilarious even.

and at some point, you can't help but try to picture and imagine your own wedding. details of which i should not and would not disclose here. haha. but i was laughing deep down inside at the thought of it, especially with who i imagined it to be with. oh my man... hahahaha...

so yeah. weddings. always fun to attend them and be part of one. never fails to bring a smile to anyone's face.

and oh. i'm pleased to report, miss michelle toh that i did not get drunk. i did not drink at all in fact. so there. -annoy annoy- haha!

dreams.

saturday morning was tossing and turning in bed a couple of nights ago because of a really weird dream or nightmare. i still don't know how to classify it. but the gist of it was that i was caught in a war. apparently singapore was at war with some country and i was outfield with my unit.

so somehow the enemy managed to break through the battle lines and almost over-ran my outpost of which i was in-charge of a platoon. so we decided to make our last stand there and fought like hell. next thing i knew i was in a hospital bed (cue war-movie scenes) and when i woke up, the first person i saw was... michelle! my goodness. that was weird.. very weird. considering i'm not that close to her and i haven't seen her in a long while.. it sure was a surprise and in some ways, shocking. wonder what it means eh?

so anyway, i woke up all of a sudden and stood up in bed. i sat there staring out the balcony for a good 2 or 3 minutes before i climbed down and made myself a cup of hot chocolate. the time on my watch read 0423. that's 4:23am. my goodness. i couldn't sleep after that. next thing i knew, it was 0730 and i had to go to work.

one of the drawbacks of watching too many war movies and playing command & conquer 3 recently. ha! so yea. enough of weird dreams/nightmares. off to bed now and hopefully i have a restful weekend though i doubt i will considering a couple of friends are in town for the weekend.

cheerios!