friday morning funny how friends just reappear after a long while.found weishan on friendster.so am talking to her now.left a message on kianhuat's tagboard.was looking back at my secondary school days.i realised it wasnt really the best of times.had lots of bullshit.lots of in-fighting and politics.and to be honest.i was never close to my own class.never liked it.never felt a sense of belonging.the class tshirt that we printed meant nothing to me.and it all comes back to me again when i find myself in almost the same situation in poly.i dont exactly fancy my class people.i'm not close to them.not that i want to.i'm always with t13.its as if t13's my class now.i study with them.i tutor them and i get tutored by them.but what of t15? i've given up a while back tutoring them.didnt seem fair that i get thanked for helping but get grilled instead when they dont get the result they want.just doesnt seem right to me

gonna update my passport at CMPB later.meeting szewei outside CJC bus at 10am.hope he aint late.dont wanna look stupid waiting outside CJC with my laptop and all.sure as hell aint light.then i've got EVP paper at 2pm.hope i dont mess it up.am pretty confident but at the same time i realised i havent studied much.so i'm crossing my fingers i dont get killed academically.next week's gonna be "fun"..so just to go through what's to come:

saturday: alister + carrie's wedding
sunday: 10th anni. comm. meeting
monday: BIS paper
tuesday: -
wednesday: PSP2 paper
thursday: MMA paper
friday: OS paper; might meet marilyn.might go clubbing with t13 people.might meet joyce for dinner too :)

--

thursday was spent in school.did some revision for EVP and BIS.thought it wasnt really that much.think i was eating more than anything else.got stuck at paya lebar mrt cause of the damn heavy rain.so figured i'd call my dad for a lift.but he was at a movie.so fine.contemplated braving the rainstorm and walk home.figured wasnt worth the "wetness".so took a cab.still got drenched anyway.funnily enough.i got home right after my sister did.so we were both drenched! hah! but she was done bathing by the time i reached the doorstep.came online to download lecture notes and check my NP mail.got confirmation from sharon goh that my elective's been changed.so i'm on my way to getting an ecommerce major now -smile- talked to hanni.silly girl's got a boyfriend at last.happy for her :) had an emoticon "war" with her.so obviously i lost.haha.-whatever-realised it's been a long time since i've talked to anyone on the phone.used to be marilyn almost every night (really miss those days girl.really do).giles every weekend (discussing church stuff and our relationship with girls.hah!).hanni once in a while (talking crap).sean nai (how to salvage his relationship with girls..not that he really listened at times)..i guess technology makes us less of a "talker".oh.before i forget.congrats to joyce! 3 years of poly's gone by for you quickly hasnt it? best of luck for the future.hope to see you on friday or saturday

signing off now.need to force myself to sleep.blerguh.peace out people.enjoy friday.oh.bring an umbrella.stupid weather

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that means this blog of mine will go musicless (if there's such a word) for a while :D

thursday morning realised i've been very edgy lately.i get pissed off easily.am not really sure if the workload's getting to me.let's see.the upcoming exams.in order of importance to me.psp2 mma evp bis os.mma isn't all that important though.at most i'll overload in semester 4 to make up for it.in any case.i've switched major.doing ecommerce instead of multimedia.but whatever it is.i think even if i scrap a D for it i'll be more than happy.can't really say i've done much to deserve anything more than a C+ or at best B for it.not that my tutor was any help anyway.so apart from school.i think church is starting to be a factor together with floorball.was made team leader for the year for antioch.was made council member for the Parish Youth Council.am also looking at having to fight my way into the floorball team.seems like they're hellbent on keeping off the team.so i'll sure as hell won't make it easy for them.coming weekend's pretty burnt.have alister's and carrie's wedding to attend (and help out)..sunday would be spent in church so i'll have to rush home to study for psp2.i think i might go on down to bedok to meet marilyn on thursday or friday..more possibly friday.really looking forward to seeing her after a long while.hope nothing crops up again.been wondering about my friends lately.sharon elaine zhenni julian (who's "happily" in OCS) and a few others.talked to elaine just now though.sounds like she's doing fine.thats great.sharon.-laughs at ownself-wonder what was i thinking last time when i tried to chase her.haha.i mean she's sweet and all.but i realised the hard way she wasn't the sort who'd get into a relationship when she's still in jc (vividly remember her telling me on the phone a longgggg time ago.she'd look for a boyfriend only when she gets to uni).coincidentally.she's met julian.hah! so now.how many girls i know have met julian? lets see.jaslyn zhenni sharon.3.and outta 3 i tried to chase 2.-frowns- haha. sigh. i think my mind's really gone man.i'm not making sense am i?
-shakes head-

dyls- hey raisin sister.havent heard from you in a while.but if you read this.drop me a message yeah? and oh.so much for Operation Elaine.hahahaha =|
brian- stop showing off your fats man.aahaha.meet up next week for makan.nick winston matthew sean nas and us

VATICAN CITY (AP) -- Pope John Paul II added six people Sunday to the ranks of Catholics on the path to possible sainthood, beatifying 19th and 20th century Europeans and South Americans at a ceremony in St. Peter's Square.

Among them was a paralyzed woman, Alexandrina Maria da Costa of Portugal, who the Vatican says lived the last 13 years of her life eating only the bread and wine of Communion.

With the six, representing Poland, Colombia, Mexico, Italy, Spain and Portugal, John Paul has beatified 1,330 people in his 25-year pontificate, more than all his predecessors in the past 500 years combined. Beatification is the last formal step before possible sainthood.

The 83-year-old pope said the six -- da Costa, a priest and four nuns -- were "eloquent examples of how the Lord transforms the existence of believers when we have faith in him."

He praised each one of them in their native language during his homily, then urged the crowd to follow in their example. He spoke clearly and strongly throughout the more than two-hour ceremony.

Honored were: August Czartoryski (1858-1893) of Poland, a Salesian priest; Laura Montoya (1874-1949) of Colombia, who founded the Congregation of the Missionary Sisters of the Immaculate Mary; Maria Guadalupe Garcia Zavala (1878-1963) of Mexico, co-founder of the Congregation of the Servants of Saint Margaret Mary and the Poor; Nemesia Valle (1847-1916) of Italy, a nun of the Congregation of the Sisters of Charity of Saint Giovanna Antida Thouret; Eusebia Palomino Yenes (1899-1935) of Spain, a nun of the Institute of the Daughters of Mary, Help of Christians; and da Costa (1904-1955), who became a lay Salesian cooperator.

The crowd, gathered under an overcast sky, broke into applause when images of the six were unveiled on tapestries hung from St. Peter's Basilica, then clapped again when John Paul briefly described their lives in his homily.

In describing the work of Montoya with the poor of Colombia, the pope urged Colombians to be inspired by her message of peace.

"We ask today that the beloved Colombia soon enjoy peace, justice and integral progress," he said.

One of the hallmarks of John Paul's papacy has been his enthusiasm for giving Catholics new role models. In addition to the 1,330 people beatified during his pontificate, he has declared 476 saints, according to Vatican statistics.

The Vatican must confirm a second miracle, attributed to the intercession of the newly beatified, for any of the six to be canonized.

saturdy morning

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Former NFL player Pat Tillman was killed Thursday while serving as an Army Rangers soldier on a mission in southeastern Afghanistan, Pentagon officials have told CNN. He was 27.

Tillman, who walked away from a $3.6 million contract as a safety with the Arizona Cardinals to join the military after the Sept. 11 attacks, was in an area where numerous U.S. troops have been killed in battles with suspected al Qaeda and Taliban fighters.

Tillman was a member of the 75th Ranger Regiment, a light infantry unit out of Fort Benning, Ga. Although the military had not officially confirmed his death, the White House put out a statement of sympathy that praised Tillman as "an inspiration both on an off the football field."

Former Cardinals head coach Dave McGinnis said he felt both overwhelming sorrow and tremendous pride in Tillman, who "represented all that was good in sports."

"Pat knew his purpose in life," McGinnis said. "He proudly walked away from a career in football to a greater calling."

Several of Tillman's friends have said the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks influenced his decision to enlist.


--

i really wonder.given the same situation.would anyone in singapore give up a multi-million dollar contract that comes with stardom and fame.to fight a war hundreds of kilometers away? i know i would.the article got me thinking a little bit.in the sense that it made me realise what patriotism at it's best really means.judging from the article, it probably meant more than just avenging the 2900+ people killed in the Sept. 11 tragedy.even from our relative safety in singapore.the sight of the two towers of the world trade center really hit the bullseye.i still remember watching everything on cnn that night (well.night in s'pore).going back to school the next morning and having a lively discussion with some of my friends about it, not realising the broader implications.the rest, as we all know, led to one thing after another.the war in afganistan, iraq, the bombings in saudi arabia, spain, the plot to blow up old trafford and God knows what else is to come..
anyways.somehow it leads me to national service (for the uninitiated: thats the 2-2.5 year stint in the armed forces that all guys in s'pore have to take).it erks me to see people fake medical conditions to get downgraded to PES C or even PES E..i know of a few people who've faked to get to PES E..and what really puts me off is that their damn proud of it.i mean.why ruin your own life with some shit posting in NS.i'm sure potential employers will take notice and even make it a criteria? i dont see why anyone should hate or even detest the idea of NS.maybe i'm abit biased in this manner simply because i've got a dad who was in the army and a granddad who served the british army during ww2.so maybe i'm army material too (i sure hope i am..)..but point is.why should anyone take NS as though it's some sort of hinderance?

--

anyhows.went to school for the stupid photoshoot.was an utter waste of my time.had better things to do than sit around the steps outside LT22 and smile.like what the hell? went home to change and get some stuff before heading back to school to meet brian (who came to NP..wow!) and his friend at canteen 1.went to library after that to do some work as well as prepare for the 10th anni. meeting.didnt attend the sports camp GL thing because i figured i'd be kinda busy during that period.so i'm not pushing my limits too far.so got to edwin's house at 7.45.had shrooms meal for dinner.hah.budget :D was told to chair the meeting and so i did.went pretty well.everything's almost finalised.so we're left with the guest list and the bulletin that i'm supposed to settle.hope to get it all done by monday afternoon latest.and so it's official.i'm TL for this year's camp.so basically i'll be running 2 camps this year.namely the pre-confirmation camp and the annual antioch camp (sarah.brian..u're both co-ordially invited :D i insist..hehehehe)..would be having a rehersal for alister+carrie's wedding later today.be going for antioch meeting before rushing to chijmes for manchester united vs liverpool.meeting the usual people (szewei chris irwan and maybe owen).so saturday's a burn-out for me.sunday.duno what i'll do on sunday.will try to start studying though.first paper's on friday.school on monday.having OS revision class.last lesson for the semester.thinking if i should see sharon goh too.i want to drop my multimedia modules and take the ecommerce ones instead (aka. drop MMID and take ECID)

thursday hmm...slept tilll late again.woohoo! dragged myself out of bed for lunch before heading to school for mma demo.shant comment on it.have this funny feeling that if i pass.it'll be a scrappy pass.so anyhow.was talking to milton then the senior buddy thing came up.and joined the SB team today.pretty stupid test.canice (a guy by the way) came up with some "case study" and sorta tested my reaction and all that.passed with flying colors.but had my profile checked.he called up sharon goh (OMG) and even checked my grades online.so was pretty funny.so come june 20-something when the new semester starts.i'll be put in-charge (sort of) of a year 1 class.supposed to make life easier.but i think i'll make it hell -grin- so.i've got some stupid photoshoot thing to attend.compulsory for all SBs to attend.dun feel like going..hate taking photos.much less to publicise ICT department.got some sports camp GL thing at 5.30 and 10th anni. comm. meeting at 7.30..so it'll be a day of meetings for me.blah.braincells are at a premium now

tuesday been a long while since i slept for almost 13 hours straight.was dead beat on monday.got up had beehoon for lunch.mum was sick so she was at home (slacker! =x).took a shower before heading to school for my only "lesson": s&w.so fine.played tennis abit.mr koh was on mc so some replacement came.boy was he a whiner/bitch.play singles also not happy.so played doubles.played doubles also not happy.what the hell?! so joined the soccer people for a while before heading to the basketball court to play abit of basketball.made new friends today.haha.one guy who's coming NP and two girls in MGS.nice people.played badminton and basketball with them together with kebing (who's from BIS and MMA class).stayed at kismis till around 7 before heading home.nicoll highway collasped.wow.maradona's in hospital.can someone shoot him? al Qaeda planned to bomb old trafford.hmm..wait till i've seen the place first please.so wells..just chilling out in my room..blessed union of soul's playing -reads Time magazine-

sunday morning saturday was pretty good.but ended on abit of a sour note.think i shall forget about fighting for vice-captency and even committee member in NP floorball.seems like they (the present comm.) don't like me cos of my style of play.well..-shrugs- maybe i solo abit too much.but who's to blame if i'm always put together with people who play like shit? i suppose what vasan says its true.be more of a team player instead of wanting to win every game.but my nature's such.i want to win as much as possible.then again who doesnt? it gets frustrating and sometimes depressing to play with people whom i cant communicate with and/or people who just arent as serious as i am.was told that i'm trying to hard to force my way into the ivp team.-shrugs- i'm just doing what i think i need to (if anyone realises.i'm trying to justify why i do what i do).after missing out on the last IVP..despite carrying a slight injury.was a blow to see one or two players who didnt deserve their spot in the team sheet.whatever it is.i dont think i'm really bothered? it hurt the way daren (present captain/president) put it across to me.but i'd rather he'd did it in private instead of in front of 9 people..he says i dont listen to what he or anyone else advises..but how am i to please everyone if everyone has their own point of view and their own advice on matters?

Lord, do not bring us to the test but deliver us from evil
grant that i have the strength to be who i am
grant that i have what it takes to be who you want me to be
Lord, thy will be done as always...

friday morning first things first..i don't have to recourse my frigging psp2! woohoo! -cheers- ok..well..i guess thursday went pretty well..was up and about early..though abit late..cause dad was kinda late for work i think..so got to school at 8-8.15..had breakfast at canteen 1 and sat there reading my book till justina came with her boyfriend..went to convention center at 9 to set up the booth (not much to set up though)..so we just bummed around till around 9.30 when the first few people started to stream in...had more girls than guys signing up today..funnily enough..haha! anyhows..think i worked some magic on two girls..Pamela and Dora Tay..both seemed to have played floorball before..Dora's a pretty good shot with a wrister (aka wristshot)...she's lefthanded too..so i just might lend her my at present not-in-use Canadien Avenger when she joins..think the two girls have great potential.. :D got abit of a scare when Dora's mum started talking to me about floorball and then about laptops (if she should get it from school or from outside)..so just talked/explained/promoted/sold floorball to her for a good part of a quarter of an hour before talking about the pros and cons of getting a laptop from school and from outside (namely sim lim and funan)..i think i manged to psycho her to get either an Acer or Toshiba.. -grin- conversation ended something like this:

dora's mum: "so whats your name?"
me: "jason"
dora's mum: "so you year 1? because you don't look like you're from poly.more like secondary 3 or 4"
me: -laughs- "yeah..year 1"
dora's mum: "so what course?"
me: "IT..probably majoring in ecommerce though"
d's mum: "oh! my daughter's from biotech"
-handshakes exchanged-
d's mum: "ok..i'll go take a look at the laptops downstairs..when my daughter starts training next semester ar.make sure you look after her ok?"
me: -looks stunned- "err..yea i'll try my best" -smiles-
-waves-

omg.SCARY i tell you..but to be honest..she's (the daughter) a really sweet girl..her smile ar..killer.. blahz..in other news.. -clears throat- went to bt timah plaza with weiren to buy lunch..bought regular sized curry chicken with ham and mushroom as added toppings as well as 6 piece drumlets..$35 lunch.. -fwoah-but worth every cent paid..was damn famished..ate as if i had not eaten in a week..went to edwin's house after school (left at 5)..camped at burger king drinking barley while waiting for jere and emmanuel to come before heading to edwin's house.had another meeting to discuss the 10th anniversary celebrations.was appointed MC for the night together with samantha gracie (irony: both of us are the next TLs..at least as far as i know)..took a train home afterward..was pretty worn out..got irritated by this fat woman who kept opening her legs damn wide..so couldnt really take a proper nap.. -grr- gonna go for samy's curry later with chris szewei shank aisha and couple others.heading to sparks after that..so gonna be tired on sat.

schedule for next 5 days:

friday- dinner + sparks with some t13 pple to celebrate in advance chris's birthday
saturday- mma assgn. + novena and mass at st mary of the angels + shaeen's b'day bbq
sunday- s'pore flrball league (div 1) finals at swiss club
monday- chionging with t13 pple and jolene to celebrate chris's actual birthday

tuesday woke up pretty stoned.got to school early to do some last minute work and prepare my OCOM presentation.decided to go impromptu instead of preparing a full 5-7 min speech/talk.went pretty alright i think.got 30/35 for it..so i guess it's pretty good for just about no preparation.did a little demo.fore/backhand dribbling.reverse blade (using the tip of the blade the reverse way) dribbling and the three ways to shoot (slapshot.wristshot.dragshot).went for S&W after that.took my grading for tennis.did quite well.though my backhand shots stinks.had to redo the backhand test once.but if not it was pretty good.rallied 20 strokes on the forehand.10 on the backhand.had 5 service aces and managed to do 3 smash and 3 dropshots.basically today was kinda physical.happened to be floorball's last training.so instead of meeting sarah to go to some library to look for kiddy books on the founding of singapore (for my MMA assignment)..i ended up at training.hah.was kinda relaxed at training.so just ran a little bit here and there.missed a couple of shots.but set up jason and fahmi pretty well (though most went unconverted)..division 2's gonna start in june.i can only hope we dont get our butts kicked though i have to admit.we have a pretty good chance of getting promoted to division 1 next season.apart from sports.got an OS open book test tomorrow.shall read through abit before i hit the sack.crossing my fingers i don't have to recourse psp2 next saturday as well..well.i guess thats it for now.pretty tired.parents are already asleep (my dad's usually up)..so house is pretty empty.got the aroma theraphy candle going.need to relax abit..realised i've been pretty tensed lately.been 2 weeks since i found out about her and him.haha.guess things aren't so bad after all! gonna be the next TL (that's Team Leader) for this year's church camp.so i reckon i've got lots to plan.might be involved in this year's orientation and sports camp for freshies too.so i've got good stuff to look forward to..

events in the near future:

may-
antioch 10th anni.
london trip
marilyn's birthday (by her request)

june-
sister's birthday
pre-confirmation camp
japan trip
pre-season friendlies with NUS.NTU.ITE Yishun.UWCSEA.Merahans (again?!)

july-
division 2 floorball league
NP sports camp
NP orientation camp

august-
national day (wtf!?)
parent's birthday

october-
my birthday

december-
switzerland trip (hopefully?)
annual antioch camp
christmas

saturday evening almost lost my temper in school.kept it in check thankfully.EVP's over.that leaves me with MMA to complete.target.clear MMA by the 18th.went out to town today.came home and slept till 9pm..was pretty stoned..darnoe what to type now.haha!

leaving for london on 14th may.woohoo!
hope you guys like the mp3.heh.fits the Easter season i think

saturday morning lantern vigil was fantastic.friday was spent mostly on catching up with lost sleep.went to chijmes to watch arsenal v liverpool with t13 people.went to coffee bean for a drink afterward and we hung around town abit.took a train back.and marilyn called.haha.she was on the same train and i didnt know.came back to do test plan for my evp.am pretty pissed off with my class.i'm losing patience.much as i'm willing to help them.i hate it when they come to me hours before the dateline for submission.pisses me off to do work last minute

sarah- hang in there girl.monday and csp's over
marilyn- you take care of your ankle
t15- to put it in a subtle manner.i hate helping you guys
floorball people- league starts july.$60 for jerseys.home and away
dwayne- i want those euro '04 tickets!

sunday evening BIS is due tmr and i've hardly done much of the compilation i'm supposed to do.no matter.work thru the night again.so to update my calendar:

monday: BIS submission
tuesday: IAC presentation
wednesday: -
thursday: floorball friendly with ITE Yishun.Lantern Vigil in church
friday: Good Friday Mass.possibly watching a movie with T13/floorball people
saturday: sweat it out.probably having a game of tennis with giles.antioch meeting in the evening.
sunday: -

travel plans.hmm.barring unforseen circumstances (such as recoursework etc):

end May: London
mid June 1: Portugal for Euro '04 (if i can get my hands on tickets.which i have a 90% chance of getting)
mid June 2: Japan
mid December: Switzerland

woohoo! -excited- and no.i'm sorry i cant pack you along sarah -nudge- and no porn for you mr sangar/szewei.no java for 2 months (hopefully).and damn it.have to put off my driving another month if i'm really goin overseas that many times.
good riddance to my pri sch friend julian sng.he's off to officer cadet school.lucks bro.not that you'll need it.God bless those people doing the spin wheel thing for EVP.damn the fella who screwed up mine.i'll wring ur neck if i find out who you are

sunday morning manchester united 1 arsenal 0.cool.scholes on 32nd.anyhows.coming week's gonna be hectic.gotta hand in BIS assignment on monday.IAC presentation on tues.friendly against ITE Yishun on thurs and EVP on sat i think.guess with all the things going on in my life now.a busy schedule's what i need.take time out from thinking too much about stuff.just read her entry -shrugs- good that she's found someone better than me in some ways.good that he's there.so i guess i'll take a step back and just try to come to terms with reality.the irony of it all is i thought i did a pretty good job being there -shrugs- unappreciated? hardly.palm sunday's today.gotta be in church at 8 for busking/basking however u spell it.got antioch meeting after that.just thankful for everyone in my life.even those who have walked out of mine.people like chin yee.my 1st ever girlfriend (-cue laughter-).people like my best friends in primary school.weisheng peisheng (no relation to each other) david (whom i always fought with in soccer) harrish and couple of others.guess the song epiphany really sums everything up.then again.98 Degrees' Why Are We Still Friends suits the bill just as nicely

Staind - Epiphany

your words to me just a whisper
your face is so unclear
i try to pay attention
your words just disappear

'cause its always raining in my head
forget all the things I should have said

so I speak to you in riddles because
my words get in my way. I smoke the
whole thing to my head and feel it
wash away 'cause i can't take anymore
of this, I want to come apart.
or dig myself a little hole inside
your precious heart

'cause its always raining in my head
forget all the things I should have said

i am nothing more than a little boy inside
that cries out for attention
yet I always try to hide
'cause I talk to you like children,
though I don't know how I feel
but I know I'll do the right thing
if the right thing is revealed

'cause its always raining in my head
forget all the things I should have said