idiot's guide to rotting at home

Sunday, October 29, 2006

where's your manners?!

sunday evening i hate people without manners. really i do. i especially dislike people who are ignorant and unapologetic about it. had lunch at suntec today and it being lunch hour, the whole foodcourt was packed. so fine. my mum and i found a table that could sit 6 people so we went to it. so for a table that could sit 6, minus my mum dad and myself there were 3 seats left. usually i'm alright with letting total strangers share the extra seats but i got really pissed off today when 2 bimbos just invited themselves to sit at the table without even bothering to ask. so much for "excuse me is this seat taken?". fucking bitches. what pissed me off even more was the fact that they were calling their friends to come over and sit together. like what the fuck?

now tell me if i'm wrong, but i seriously think that singaporeans are starting to be more and more selfish like never before. being self-centered and not giving a damn about the people around them. the simple mannerisms that we were all taught as kids in primary and secondary school have all but disappeared. take again the following examples:

1. talking loudy on their handphones in public (worse still, talking in cinemas!)
2. standing in the middle of an aisle in a supermarket with their trolleys thus preventing others from walking down the aisle
3. retards blasting their mp3s/cd players or whatever in the bus or train; chances are you can even hear the frigging lyrics of the song (or thrash) that they're listening to (oddly enough, the "songs" happen to always be loud metal crap or whatever noise it is)
4. standing near the doors in the bus and trains, preventing others from being able to board. at times you'll be able to see the bus uncle shouting for people to move to the back of the bus but sometimes to no avail
5. idiots who can't see where the queue is and just barge their way to the counter oblivious to the rest of the people in the queue; to top it off, the counter staff occassionally "forget" that this idiot just cut the entire queue
6. service industry people not giving a crap about their customers such as sales staff throwing your change on the counter (so much for the 'Smiles' campaign)
7. the irritating uncles (and sometimes aunties and even young adults) who go "tsktsk" in an attempt to suck whatever food is stuck between their teeth. boy does that piss me off bad especially when i'm still eating
8. people who can't chew their food with loads of weird noises

so now. where in the world have all the manners gone?

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

fear.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.

It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

...and counting.

sunday morning nothing really much going on. did a shit load of well.. shit in camp the past few days. was out to tanjong gul camp (somewhere in tuas. don't ask me where) to help bring back the op boxes used during in-camp training. and then there's the paperwork for wallaby. been thinking about uni studies the past few days. got a few options in mind but i'll need to think it over and discuss it with my parents and see what gives. unsw is almost a given i think (or hope?). i figure i've got 1 year plus to think about it? so yeah. time..

you know sometimes, you just wonder to yourself, why go through all the trouble to maintain a relationship. go through all the arguments, the fights, spending time and effort to make things work. given that there's always the happy and memorable things to cherish. but when it ends.. if it ends. you think to yourself: was it worth it? was it worth every single tear, cent and second?

perhaps the one thing many of us fail to do is find the balance between giving and taking. it's all about give and take. we've all heard that so many times but do we believe in it? beats me if i do myself. but finally in the end, at least for a person like me, i'm on the giving side more often than the taking one so when it all ends, the answer to the questions above would always be a resounding no..

time. time supposedly heals everything. but things live in our memories and we'll never forget them. we eventually block them off but certain things we see, do, listen, watch, even eat and drink will trigger those memories and we'll be back to where we were, at least for a while.

i don't know why i'm blogging about this. so forgive the rant and enjoy the holidays. hah!

never lie, steal, cheat or drink
if you must steal, steal away from bad company
if you must lie, lie in arms of the one you love
if you must cheat, cheat death
and if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away

Thursday, October 19, 2006

21.

wednesday so passes the day when the 0 in 20 changes to a 1 and becomes 21. hmms. another year older and funnily enough i don't feel very excited about it. it's just another birthday. no big party. no big gathering of friends. just small celebrations here and there with people. brandon russell and emily were the first. followed by dennis later in the evening (or early early morning). met my mum and sis for lunch before going off on a mini-shopping spree in town. almost bought myself a new pair of nike sneakers but decided to hold off. can't wait for the weekend. think i should be meeting rachel on sunday after a long long time. as far as birthday wishes and greetings go. got a fair bit of surprises. people whom i've totally lost touch with suddenly called or sent text messages so it was quite cool. thanks to all! perhaps the one day i'm really looking forward to is next monday. the old egarage gang together again.. everything's looking good. happy days ahead.. haha! =)

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Augustana - Boston

in the light of the sun, is there anyone? oh it has begun...
oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
this world you must've crossed...you said...

you don't know me, you don't even care,
you don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

essential and appealed, carry all your thoughts across
an open field,
when flowers gaze at you...they're not the only ones who cry
when they see you
you said...

you don't know me, you don't even care,
you don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

she said i think i'll go to boston...
i think i'll start a new life,
i think i'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
i'll get out of california, i'm tired of the weather,
i think i'll get a lover and fly em out to spain...
i think i'll go to boston,
i think that i'm just tired
i think i need a new town, to leave this all behind...
i think i need a sunrise, i'm tired of the sunset,
i hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice...
boston...where no one knows my name...

Sunday, October 15, 2006

entertainment needed.

sunday thursday to saturday passed pretty quickly. been up the past few nights reading books. have a load of them that i bought and they're all sitting around so i've decided to try to finish them all by year's end. uncle's back from sweden for a while before he heads back. saturday evening was smashing. was out with jolene so it was pure fun. laughed a fair bit and surprisingly, ran into victor and clarence who were playing in the live band at ben & jerry's at cathay.

i don't like small kids. really. i hate it when they run around and scream their heads of in a public place. it gets to me more when it's an eating place, more specifically in a restaurant. and it gets even better. their parents are either blind/deaf or both, or are plain ignorant about what a nuisance their kids are to the rest of the people. but well. what can we do eh?


got my first physio appointment tomorrow morning. don't know what to expect but i hope some good comes out of it. i cant feel the pain anymore because i'm numb. i'm used to it so it doesn't really bother me anymore. but that said. i'm still quite worried about the after-effects if there's any. i don't fancy getting injured again anytime during the next 18 months..

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

what a world we live in...

wednesday well well.. the haze has gone from bad to worse to ok to bad again. and the indons are blaming the wind. even though the PSI level isn't as high as it was a few years back (240 was it?), 150+ is still pretty bad. like some of my friends have said over the past week, singapore's looking like genting but the smell and temperature definitely isn't. what's indonesia's goverment doing about it? absolutely nothing! surprised? not really no. they've been at it for years and seriously, i think we can consider it an act of war. imagine. the farmers burning the land can easily add chemicals or bio-agents. with the winds blowing just about everything our way, it takes advantage of the direction of the wind to release chemical agents and what-not into our system. not one singaporean is spared. so for all you know, one of these days we'll all fall ill with weird symptoms and then we'll figure then that something's not right. so much for a conspiracy theory. haha!

and hey. it gets even better! north korea testing nukes. well. firstly, welcome to the exclusive club of nuclear technology. i'm sure kim jong-il is feeling pretty good about himself. let's list his achievements in the past year or two shall we:

1. got to be the main villain in Team America: World Police
2. sung a sad song "I'm So Lonely" with poor pronunciation (lonely = ronery)
3. pissed the shit out of south korea with their urge to get their hands on nuclear technology
4. chased out iaea inspectors for being 'insensitive' and whatever reasons they could come up with
5. slapped their biggest ally (china) in the face when they tested their nuke a few days a go
6. threaten japan and south korea about "acts of war" when (and not if) sanctions are imposed
7. still not being able to get his people out of poverty despite international monetary aid (we can pretty much guess where all that money went to)

so what's the world coming to? everyone wants a piece of another. everyone just wants peace but on their own terms and conditions. seems like we'll never get the peace that we're all looking for in this world. perhaps the only peace we get is when we reach the end of our lives..

as far as ns goes. well. i've been having it good so far.. am now doing web design for HQ 3 SIB as well as doing some planning work for Ex Wallaby. so i'm pretty much getting my hands tied up with work starting to pile up so i'm pretty thankful for the nights outs that we get and the early book out on friday. next week i'll be having off on wednesday for my birthday. will also be going to safti on monday for my physio. so i forsee a heavy workload next week. shyts.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

work work.

tuesday 2nd day and the work's finally here. not much though. i'm officially in-charge of courses (ie sending people for courses.. remind them etc.) . at the same time i'm also involved with the planning for ex wallaby in australia for end of next month. i can't say i don't enjoy my work because i haven't really started but well. things can get better or worse depending on the situation. am also involved with a bit od web designing so that's a break from the norm of SAF clerical work. haha! oh well. am home on my nights off. will be back in camp by 11.30pm though. back out again tomorrow night. hah..

Monday, October 09, 2006

b o r e d . . .

monday evening been doing nothing the whole day. seriously. first day in 3SIB at Bukit Panjang Camp (which is actually just behind MINDEF HQ). the place is in shambles and it can get really depressing with nothing to do in a complex as big as this (reminds me of SISPEC. hah). so anyhows. met some of the guys here that i'll be working with for the next 2 and a half months. apparently i've got to be wary of the chief clerk. the life here's pretty relaxed as compared to BMT and SISPEC.. nights out every tuesday and wednesday (from 5.30pm-11.30pm) and book out every friday to go home at 5pm. so it's all good. today happened to be a lull day because of the in-camp training that just started so there was pretty much nothing for me to do other than sit in front of the computer and surf the net. but this is day one. i'll get away with pretty much anything because i'm new but once i've settled down and got down to work i think there won't be much more times like this except perhaps after working hours.. cant say i'm enjoying it nor can i say i hate it. beats the hell out of chiong-ing in SISPEC with a half-working leg anyway.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

forget it...with a sigh.

thursday afternoon bumming at home just reading my books and listening to mp3s. been going back to the doctor's for antibiotic injections the past week everyday, morning and night. not much else going on.. just recovering from tonsillitis and resting my injured leg. itching to do things that i want. anyhows. the big 2-1 is coming. 2 weeks. can't believe i'm so old so fast. hah. well. we all have to grow up some day and i guess my turn's already up and i've reached a point in my life where i make the decisions and live with the consequences, the most important of which is that of my uni studies after NS (now that i'm not signing on i've got to look at other options). for now i'm headed for SMU but i'm more keen on going over to sydney and get a degree in IT Security (or something equivalent) in UNSW. so i've got to plan for things now.. anyway. this song's great. brings back memories of a certain d- and a certain m- but it's still a great song.. sometimes i really wonder how i let things slip.. i really do.

Breaking Benjamin - Forget It

It's a crime you let it happen to me
Nevermind, I'll let it happen to you
Out of mind, forget it there's nothing to lose
But my mind and all the things I wanted

Everytime I get it I throw it away
It's a sign, I get it, I wanna stay
By the time I lose it I'm not afraid
I'm alive but I can Surely fake it

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You're the part of me that I don't wanna see

Forget it

There's a place I see you follow me
Just a taste of all that might come to be
I'm alone but holding breath you can breathe
To question every answer counted

Just fade away
Please let me stay
Caught in your way

Forget it

Just fade away
Please let me stay
Caught in your way

It's a crime you let it happen to me
Out of mind, I love it, easy to please
Nevermind, forget it, just memories
On a page inside a spiral notebook

Just fade away
Please let me stay
Caught in your way
I can live forever here

Forget it

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You're a part of me that I don't wanna see

I can live forever here